This was a weirder conversation:
Sam: "Hey, where does my belly button go?"
Me: "Huh? Where does it go? It doesn't 'go' anywhere..."
Sam: "Well, can I stick my finger in it?"
Me: "Sure, knock yourself out."
Sam: "Thanks!!"
Hmmm, the older she gets, the odder she gets, but I'm glad I was able to grant her belly button wish. I guess.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Oddest Conversation Ever
Sam: "Mom, can I poop in my undies?"
Me: "No."
Sam: "Okay, I not poop in them."
Then she ran off to play.
Ummmm, okay. There's probably more to that story, but do I want to know?
Me: "No."
Sam: "Okay, I not poop in them."
Then she ran off to play.
Ummmm, okay. There's probably more to that story, but do I want to know?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Wheelin' and Dealin'
It's a good thing that Peyton doesn't cry all that often, because it makes his big sister go completely ballistic. On the rare occasion he does start screaming, she starts yelling at us (in case we couldn't hear him in the first place) "Help him! Mom, Dad, he needs help! You have to take care of him! Peyton is CRYING!!!" Then, she feels so sorry and helpless that she starts tearing up and sniffling for good measure. Within minutes I have two kids bawling. Most often, this happens in the car.
So, today on the way to preschool, Peyton decided he wanted no part of being in the car. I wasn't that worried about letting him cry since preschool is literally in our neighborhood and the whole trip there and home is less than 5 minutes (its still a little too cool in the mornings to walk with Peyton, plus we'd have to be ready like 10 minutes earlier and that will probably never happen). Sam, however, does not like hearing him cry, as previously established. Once she (loudly) informed me that 1) he was crying and 2) she could not reach his binky or his mouth to help out, she asked "could you please help him and make sure he isn't crying?"
I explained that I couldn't reach his binky either, but it was mommy's job to drive safely and keep the car on the road, and that it was okay for babies to cry for a little while sometimes so I could keep us all safe.
Sam seemed less than satisfied with this explanation, but finally she heaved a huge sigh and said "Fine, will you make sure that no monsters get in the car then?"
Sure, kid. You bet. A request I could deliver on! So in the end, Peyton screamed all the way to preschool and all the way home, but guess how many monsters hopped in the car on my watch? ZERO. Nailed it! Finally, I get to feel successful as a parent--I can't take her to Utah every day when she asks, or get her a happy meal after every preschool class, or take her to the pool when its 50 degrees outside, but I can keep our vehicle monster-free.
Feeling victorious.
So, today on the way to preschool, Peyton decided he wanted no part of being in the car. I wasn't that worried about letting him cry since preschool is literally in our neighborhood and the whole trip there and home is less than 5 minutes (its still a little too cool in the mornings to walk with Peyton, plus we'd have to be ready like 10 minutes earlier and that will probably never happen). Sam, however, does not like hearing him cry, as previously established. Once she (loudly) informed me that 1) he was crying and 2) she could not reach his binky or his mouth to help out, she asked "could you please help him and make sure he isn't crying?"
I explained that I couldn't reach his binky either, but it was mommy's job to drive safely and keep the car on the road, and that it was okay for babies to cry for a little while sometimes so I could keep us all safe.
Sam seemed less than satisfied with this explanation, but finally she heaved a huge sigh and said "Fine, will you make sure that no monsters get in the car then?"
Sure, kid. You bet. A request I could deliver on! So in the end, Peyton screamed all the way to preschool and all the way home, but guess how many monsters hopped in the car on my watch? ZERO. Nailed it! Finally, I get to feel successful as a parent--I can't take her to Utah every day when she asks, or get her a happy meal after every preschool class, or take her to the pool when its 50 degrees outside, but I can keep our vehicle monster-free.
Feeling victorious.
Monday, March 21, 2011
The Truth Hurts
Today before naptime, Sam asked me to dance with her.
I'm not much of a dancer, but she mainly wants someone to hold hands with while she jumps in a circle around them, so she doesn't complain. We were "dancing" when Sam said "This is just like Beauty and the Beast."
Trying to be somewhat funny, I said "So what are you saying about me then, Sam?"
She looked right at me and said, "You're the beast, and I'm the beauty."
Maybe I shouldn't have asked.
I have been a little cranky lately, so I should have seen this coming.
I'm not much of a dancer, but she mainly wants someone to hold hands with while she jumps in a circle around them, so she doesn't complain. We were "dancing" when Sam said "This is just like Beauty and the Beast."
Trying to be somewhat funny, I said "So what are you saying about me then, Sam?"
She looked right at me and said, "You're the beast, and I'm the beauty."
Maybe I shouldn't have asked.
I have been a little cranky lately, so I should have seen this coming.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Here We Go Again
I honestly don't know how this happened, but Peyton got pink eye less than a week ago.
At least, the doctor says it's pinkeye. I'm not so sure. Here are the facts:
His eyes were doing a lot of gross oozing. It looked just like pinkeye. I see where the doc would get that diagnosis.
However, here are some more facts. This kid never goes anywhere--seriously, thanks to a wicked RSV season in our neighborhood the handful of times I've had to take him out to a store, we go when it's not crowded and keep him away from people and covered in his carrier. He's only been around people at Grandma's house, and none of those people had pinkeye. Neither did his sister for that matter, which is the most likely place for him to catch it, seeing as she hangs out with other kids and everyone her age has questionable hygiene practices. None of us had it before or after he got it. Now, I'm pretty germphobic, but even I can't claim to be so awesomely on top of everything that none of us would catch it, seeing as it's so contagious and his sister loves to kiss him.
Also, and this is the point that really confuses me...Samantha also got "pinkeye" at exactly three weeks old, also without leaving the house or hanging out with people. None of us caught it from her either.
Seriously, what are the odds that my agoraphobic babies would each catch a hugely contagious eye infection from an unidentified source, at the exact same age, three years apart, without passing it to either parent or another family member? Isn't it more likely that my kids are prone to clogged tear ducts that get infected or something?
Am I the only one who thinks this is weird?
On the plus side, if you need antibiotic eye ointment put in your newborn's eyes, I'm getting to be a pro at it.
Other than the pinkeye, which for the record has set me back immeasurably in my quest to be less weird about taking him out in public, things are going great for us!
At least, the doctor says it's pinkeye. I'm not so sure. Here are the facts:
His eyes were doing a lot of gross oozing. It looked just like pinkeye. I see where the doc would get that diagnosis.
However, here are some more facts. This kid never goes anywhere--seriously, thanks to a wicked RSV season in our neighborhood the handful of times I've had to take him out to a store, we go when it's not crowded and keep him away from people and covered in his carrier. He's only been around people at Grandma's house, and none of those people had pinkeye. Neither did his sister for that matter, which is the most likely place for him to catch it, seeing as she hangs out with other kids and everyone her age has questionable hygiene practices. None of us had it before or after he got it. Now, I'm pretty germphobic, but even I can't claim to be so awesomely on top of everything that none of us would catch it, seeing as it's so contagious and his sister loves to kiss him.
Also, and this is the point that really confuses me...Samantha also got "pinkeye" at exactly three weeks old, also without leaving the house or hanging out with people. None of us caught it from her either.
Seriously, what are the odds that my agoraphobic babies would each catch a hugely contagious eye infection from an unidentified source, at the exact same age, three years apart, without passing it to either parent or another family member? Isn't it more likely that my kids are prone to clogged tear ducts that get infected or something?
Am I the only one who thinks this is weird?
On the plus side, if you need antibiotic eye ointment put in your newborn's eyes, I'm getting to be a pro at it.
Other than the pinkeye, which for the record has set me back immeasurably in my quest to be less weird about taking him out in public, things are going great for us!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Time is up!
Well, as of just over a week ago, I am now a mom of two! That's right--Peyton finally made an appearance, and although he was a couple weeks early, I had two solid days of "false" labor that made him seem more than overdue when he decided to show!
When I get my feet under me a little better, I will be posting more. Every time I think I've got this double duty handled, something weird comes up, but I have a feeling that's how it will be for the forseeable future. At least Peyton is a sleeper--Sam was not, from day 1, and now I understand why some people actually enjoy the newborn period. I will now stop secretly trying to get you committed to an insane asylum. I still wouldn't say the newborn period is my "fave" since I prefer a little more responsiveness from my kids, but it's not the zombie-like 24 hour a day exercise in frustration I seem to remember the first time around. Sleeping 3 hours at a stretch instead of 30 minutes makes a huge difference.
If you know me and you want to see pictures, you can check out the private family blog here. If you aren't on the permission list, you can pass me a note, call, text, message Daniel on facebook (not me, I never check it!), or email me with your email address and I'll add you. If you don't know me well enough to contact me in any of these ways, no offense, but why do you want to see pictures of my kids? And it's going to take a mighty good reason from a total stranger to sway me...
Life is good, and I'll check in later!
When I get my feet under me a little better, I will be posting more. Every time I think I've got this double duty handled, something weird comes up, but I have a feeling that's how it will be for the forseeable future. At least Peyton is a sleeper--Sam was not, from day 1, and now I understand why some people actually enjoy the newborn period. I will now stop secretly trying to get you committed to an insane asylum. I still wouldn't say the newborn period is my "fave" since I prefer a little more responsiveness from my kids, but it's not the zombie-like 24 hour a day exercise in frustration I seem to remember the first time around. Sleeping 3 hours at a stretch instead of 30 minutes makes a huge difference.
If you know me and you want to see pictures, you can check out the private family blog here. If you aren't on the permission list, you can pass me a note, call, text, message Daniel on facebook (not me, I never check it!), or email me with your email address and I'll add you. If you don't know me well enough to contact me in any of these ways, no offense, but why do you want to see pictures of my kids? And it's going to take a mighty good reason from a total stranger to sway me...
Life is good, and I'll check in later!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
...but not any old commercials
Yesterday, I posted about my love of advertising.
Today--perhaps blame it on pregnancy mood swings--I want to highlight some commercials that I really truly hate. I'm not sure why I have such a visceral reaction to these particular ones, but when they come on, I find myself instantly irritated. They aren't even irritating for a "legitimate" reason, like those awful Go Daddy commercials that are smutting up the planet. Yes, I just used smutting as a verb and no, I don't have a problem with the fact that I sound like a 75 year old curmudgeon.
Anyway, it's been a good long while since I wrote about commercials--so long in fact, that I can't even find my last post to put the link. So, in the *likely* event that these companies find and read my blog, and then decide to spare the planet from continuing to view their horrible horrible ads, I have to make my views known.
The first ad I have to gripe about today is the Huggies Pull-up commercial where all the kids are at the park. One kid goes up to his mom and says "I have to go potty." The mom's response? "I know! The potty dance!" Then the whole park busts into what is apparently "the potty dance." It's insanely stupid. Holy cow lady, he asked for a toilet, not a song! Every time I see it, I can't help but think that maybe the reason her kid is still in pull-ups (which cost more than diapers by the way), as opposed to real underwear is because when he actually asks to go potty, she has to perform a Broadway musical first. This isn't a kid who doesn't want to go potty--he asked to go--so why does he need a motivational musical number? Of course he's going to pee his pants, he's at a public park, so first they have to find a bathroom, hope it's not too vile to use, and now, his mom is stalling the process even further for no apparent reason. Plus, I hate the fact that the so-called potty dance ends with everyone tossing their arms in the air and shimmying while shaking their hips. Geez louise, I'm a grown woman, and granted, there's a huge fetus sitting on my bladder, but if I shimmied and shook like that when I had to pee, I'd probably have an accident myself. Do us all a favor, Huggies, and don't insult the intelligence of parents everywhere by trying to promote some gimmicky potty training dance. Your amazingly overpriced and unnecessary "training pants" are insulting enough without also making our kids expect us to do stupid tricks in public just to get them to pee in the potty. Just because my standards for public humiliation have plummeted since I became a parent doesn't mean they're totally non-existent. At least not yet.
The other commercial that grates on my nerves is for First Response Pregnancy Tests (can you tell I watch a lot of kid/baby shows during the day based on the ads I see?). The commercial starts out with a very concerned sounding lady saying "Your body knows you're pregnant even before you do..." and proceeds to show some really horrible animations of what is presumably their pee stick, catching the "scant amounts" of pregnancy hormone that simply slide right through other pee sticks. This allows you to find out you're pregnant up to 6 days sooner (first of all, I don't know where the 68% of women are they claim can do that, but it didn't work for me--or anyone else I know--that early with either pregnancy). I just totally hate that first line "Your body knows you're pregnant even before you do." I'm sorry, but I just can't help but think, "Well, duh!" Of course your body has to know you're pregnant before you do--if your body didn't "know" there was a baby in there, you know what it wouldn't do? Create, grow, and nourish the baby! Which would result in, no baby. This bugs me because, in fact, there's a lot of things your body has to "know" without you "knowing" it--like to breathe while you're sleeping or even unconscious, to mobilize your immune response to fight infections in their first stages before symptoms appear, to increase blood flow to your muscles and decrease flow to your organs when you exert yourself, to possibly train alternate parts of your brain to perform tasks if the part it normally uses becomes damaged or incapacitated...the list is virtually endless. It just makes sense for our bodies to know things before we do, as annoying as that may be in cases like pregnancy where we're dying to know. I feel like the way they are saying that in a conspiratorial voice its as if they're letting women in on some huge secret that will change their lives--"your own body knows a secret, and it won't tell you, unless you use our test to know the secret a whopping day earlier." Really, it is praying on women in a really manipulative way when they are at their most vulnerable. Let's face it, whether you're hoping for a negative or a positive--it's a hugely suspenseful (and if positive, hormonal!) time when a woman is waiting to know. The last thing they need is a company taunting "I know something you don't know." I know that's how they make their money, but it just seems so crappy to present completely obvious (and essentially irrelevant) "scientific" information as a ploy to make their test your number one choice. Maybe what bothers me most is how well it works--I thought I was wasting a lot of money on pregnancy tests when I was finding out I was pregnant with Sam until I found a co-worker who copped to taking 11 digital tests when she thought she was first pregnant--do you realize how much money she spent peeing on things!?
Come on, advertisers, lets just say what the product does, and not pretend we're imparting the secret to eternal youth, or try to be unnecessarily manipulative, or play on audience ignorance about their own inner workings, ok? Please?
If not, okay fine, but "I know something you don't know!" Annoying, isn't it?
Yes, I realize I'm putting way too much thought into these, but with all the contractions and migraines I've been having lately, I'm pretty much relegated to the sofa watching TV most of the time. You'd put too much thought into these petty things too. It's either gripe at commercials or watch yet another judge show where trashy people argue about dumb stuff. That is something even I won't do...if this baby takes another full three weeks to come out, however, I may get even more desperate.
Today--perhaps blame it on pregnancy mood swings--I want to highlight some commercials that I really truly hate. I'm not sure why I have such a visceral reaction to these particular ones, but when they come on, I find myself instantly irritated. They aren't even irritating for a "legitimate" reason, like those awful Go Daddy commercials that are smutting up the planet. Yes, I just used smutting as a verb and no, I don't have a problem with the fact that I sound like a 75 year old curmudgeon.
Anyway, it's been a good long while since I wrote about commercials--so long in fact, that I can't even find my last post to put the link. So, in the *likely* event that these companies find and read my blog, and then decide to spare the planet from continuing to view their horrible horrible ads, I have to make my views known.
The first ad I have to gripe about today is the Huggies Pull-up commercial where all the kids are at the park. One kid goes up to his mom and says "I have to go potty." The mom's response? "I know! The potty dance!" Then the whole park busts into what is apparently "the potty dance." It's insanely stupid. Holy cow lady, he asked for a toilet, not a song! Every time I see it, I can't help but think that maybe the reason her kid is still in pull-ups (which cost more than diapers by the way), as opposed to real underwear is because when he actually asks to go potty, she has to perform a Broadway musical first. This isn't a kid who doesn't want to go potty--he asked to go--so why does he need a motivational musical number? Of course he's going to pee his pants, he's at a public park, so first they have to find a bathroom, hope it's not too vile to use, and now, his mom is stalling the process even further for no apparent reason. Plus, I hate the fact that the so-called potty dance ends with everyone tossing their arms in the air and shimmying while shaking their hips. Geez louise, I'm a grown woman, and granted, there's a huge fetus sitting on my bladder, but if I shimmied and shook like that when I had to pee, I'd probably have an accident myself. Do us all a favor, Huggies, and don't insult the intelligence of parents everywhere by trying to promote some gimmicky potty training dance. Your amazingly overpriced and unnecessary "training pants" are insulting enough without also making our kids expect us to do stupid tricks in public just to get them to pee in the potty. Just because my standards for public humiliation have plummeted since I became a parent doesn't mean they're totally non-existent. At least not yet.
The other commercial that grates on my nerves is for First Response Pregnancy Tests (can you tell I watch a lot of kid/baby shows during the day based on the ads I see?). The commercial starts out with a very concerned sounding lady saying "Your body knows you're pregnant even before you do..." and proceeds to show some really horrible animations of what is presumably their pee stick, catching the "scant amounts" of pregnancy hormone that simply slide right through other pee sticks. This allows you to find out you're pregnant up to 6 days sooner (first of all, I don't know where the 68% of women are they claim can do that, but it didn't work for me--or anyone else I know--that early with either pregnancy). I just totally hate that first line "Your body knows you're pregnant even before you do." I'm sorry, but I just can't help but think, "Well, duh!" Of course your body has to know you're pregnant before you do--if your body didn't "know" there was a baby in there, you know what it wouldn't do? Create, grow, and nourish the baby! Which would result in, no baby. This bugs me because, in fact, there's a lot of things your body has to "know" without you "knowing" it--like to breathe while you're sleeping or even unconscious, to mobilize your immune response to fight infections in their first stages before symptoms appear, to increase blood flow to your muscles and decrease flow to your organs when you exert yourself, to possibly train alternate parts of your brain to perform tasks if the part it normally uses becomes damaged or incapacitated...the list is virtually endless. It just makes sense for our bodies to know things before we do, as annoying as that may be in cases like pregnancy where we're dying to know. I feel like the way they are saying that in a conspiratorial voice its as if they're letting women in on some huge secret that will change their lives--"your own body knows a secret, and it won't tell you, unless you use our test to know the secret a whopping day earlier." Really, it is praying on women in a really manipulative way when they are at their most vulnerable. Let's face it, whether you're hoping for a negative or a positive--it's a hugely suspenseful (and if positive, hormonal!) time when a woman is waiting to know. The last thing they need is a company taunting "I know something you don't know." I know that's how they make their money, but it just seems so crappy to present completely obvious (and essentially irrelevant) "scientific" information as a ploy to make their test your number one choice. Maybe what bothers me most is how well it works--I thought I was wasting a lot of money on pregnancy tests when I was finding out I was pregnant with Sam until I found a co-worker who copped to taking 11 digital tests when she thought she was first pregnant--do you realize how much money she spent peeing on things!?
Come on, advertisers, lets just say what the product does, and not pretend we're imparting the secret to eternal youth, or try to be unnecessarily manipulative, or play on audience ignorance about their own inner workings, ok? Please?
If not, okay fine, but "I know something you don't know!" Annoying, isn't it?
Yes, I realize I'm putting way too much thought into these, but with all the contractions and migraines I've been having lately, I'm pretty much relegated to the sofa watching TV most of the time. You'd put too much thought into these petty things too. It's either gripe at commercials or watch yet another judge show where trashy people argue about dumb stuff. That is something even I won't do...if this baby takes another full three weeks to come out, however, I may get even more desperate.
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