What My Days Consist Of

So, Daniel has been bugging me lately about never blogging. At which point I always point out that I'm am too busy to blog. Then, he says something along the lines of "You blogged more with a newborn and no sleep than you do now." This is a "clever" way of saying "So what do you do all day?" because it doesn't involve his face getting slapped, but is essentially the same question. I give him credit for trying really hard to be sweet, tactful, and avoid getting slapped. What a guy! As a side note, I have to point this out about newborns: although I thought I was so incredibly busy at the time, in reality, newborns sleep A LOT. Just not at night, or anytime you really want them too. So, yes, I had more time to blog as a sleep-deprived zombie mom than I do now. Figures that you never appreciate the stage you're in.
Anyway, all this has gotten me thinking about what I do actually do all day with a nearly two-year-old 24/7. Here is a brief index of where my time goes:

Answering the following questions: "what's that?" 1000 a day.
(not to be confused with) "what's that sound?" an additional 1000 times a day, and "Daddy at work?" 500 times a day. There's also always "Go to park?" and/or "Go outside?" and/or "Watch (Incredibles/Nemo/Yo Gabba Gabba/Up/Elmo)?" at least 500 times a day. Each. Additional random questions throughout the day?

"Essercising" as Sam calls it (or "physical and psychological torture", as I call it) 30-60 minutes a day.

Begging Sam to use her "indoor voice" as she greets people and objects at her favorite stores, 50 times per trip to "Ta-get!" or "Spouts!" (target and sprouts)

Saying goodbye to inanimate objects including but not limited to: the TV plus whatever shows/characters were most recently on it, bananas at the store (why???), every stuffed animal we own, keys, the bathroom and stepstool after washing hands, and leftover Halloween cardboard cut outs of Elmo, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, and Oscar the Grouch (each individually) when we pull out of the garage. Total time of goodbyes--uncertain, but we rival the Von Trapps. "So long, farewell..."

Cleaning up after the annoucement "I have pee-pees." I have since learned this does not always mean "pee-pees." Always bring the wipes or planning on a super-lighting dash back across the room. Total time: Too much of my day, but really, any time is too much. I hate diapers, and I wish she was totally ready for potty training, which brings me to...

Standing around awkwardly while Sam sits on her potty seat forever doing nothing but singing while unrolling and ripping tiny bits of toilet paper. Total time: Feels like infinity. Actual time: 5-10 minutes. I'm trying to let her lead the way, so if she asks to go potty, I'll let her sit. Unfortunately, she only seems to understand "the throne" in the way it applies to royalty (namely "will you fan me and peel me a grape whilst I sit?"), and not it's more practical uses.

Providing snacks: 30 minutes, including convincing Sam that the fruits and veggies are better (hah!) than Nemo fruit snacks again, muscling her into eating two apple slices and some jicama and then breaking down and getting out a pouch after 100 rounds of "Nemo now Mommy, PEEEEASE! I eat a apple!"

Trying to get her to stay in her "big girl bed" for naps: 1hr 30 min. Unfortunately, 2 days ago, Sam figured out that my "magical Mommy power" that will make her stay in her bed isn't, um, real. That sucks. She will try anything to stall her nap, from the standard, "Water, Mommy?" to the truly creative Samism, "I watch Crebidles first, Mommy?"(Crebidles is The Incredibles, and I've got to give her props for thinking she can make a deal like that, and gain nearly 2 hours with zero benefit to me.) Thank heaven she's afraid of the dark and will not get out at night, and keeps the barganing to a minimum. So far.

Ignoring begging and/or tantrums: 1hr.

Playing toys, puzzles, playdoh, painting, learning letters, numbers, colors, and being a horsey: Total time: several hours a day.

But that's not all. Every so often, I clean a few things, like other people's underwear and toilets. I prepare a couple meals a day. The fact that they are not tasty (and they aren't) is not the point. I also find time to write occasionally, just not always on the blog.

The funny thing is, other than the diapers (okay, and the exercising!), I really wouldn't want to spend my time any other way. Even if I have to say goodbye to Elmo every stinking time we leave the house, and people look at us funny when we talk to the bananas in the produce aisle!