Sunday, August 10, 2008

I am busy, busier than thou!

I've decided to throw down the gauntlet and take on something that annoys me more than pretty much anything these days--the "Busiest People in the World" aka BPWs (let's face it, I am way too busy to type all that each time!). You know who they are--they are the ones who volunteer to do things no one asked them to do, but then make a big show about how hard it will be to get it done. I'm not talking about people who legitimately can't fit things into their schedule, I have no problem with people saying no when they can't do things. I'm specifically complaining about the people who say things like "Okay...I will make Mom's birthday cake from scratch using nearly impossible-to-find foreign ingredients, although heaven knows when I will find the time [deep sigh], after all, Jimmy has T-ball (of course I am making fresh California rolls for my snack turn), Katie has painting and kung fu (I'm weaving her a canvas and sewing her a new uniform), Jake needs a new belt so I have to make that(you mean you've never smelted your own copper!?), and I am curing cancer and running the school bake sale next week...[another deep sigh]."
You're busy, we get it.
For the record, we also didn't ask you to make Mom's cake from scratch using carmelized saffron from the Netherlands, we sent an email asking if someone would be able to pick up Mom's cake from Costco on their way to the party, and don't worry, I'll get it. I'm not curing cancer for at least two weeks.
The BPWs equate busy-ness with importance, which is why they are more than happy to rattle off their list of activities for you. You would think that with their seconds being far more precious than the crown jewels, they wouldn't deign to speak to someone who spent 30 minutes today just watching her baby sleep, but if they don't take the time to tell me how important they are, how else will I know? How can I feel inferior if they don't tell me I'm inferior? Ahh, the conundrum of the BPWs.
Unfortunately for them, even when they go out of their way to tell me how much harder their life is than mine, I still don't care. So, you have three kids and I have one--if I tell you that you are three times more important than me, will you go away? You are appalled that I didn't volunteer to hand-paint T-shirts for every person at the church social even though I am just a one-baby mom with no job and swimming with free time? I'm sorry you feel that way, you should leave in a huff so I can get back to trying to make Sam giggle. Maybe I am swimming in time because my priorities are different than yours. Perhaps it is just possible that in my book, filling my time with piddly crap no one needs to do is actually a waste of time. Possibly, I consider making memories with my one child more important than spending time justifying myself to people I don't really know. My baby is healthy and happy, my house is *relatively* tidy, and I help out my friends whenever they need it--I see no need to smelt my own copper.
There are people out there who are doing majorly important things every day. There are people who accomplish more before 8 am than I do all day long (I'm married to one of them), but they are not the ones yakking about it. There are people in existence who seem to take on everything and to it well, the ones that just say "I've got it" and you are wondering how they can handle it all. These legitimately busy people don't make a stink or a show, they simply are happy to help and don't have the time to tell you how busy they are. My husband is the kind of person who will only pipe up to help if he can, and if he can't, he will just say "I'm sorry, I can't, I have to work."
People--one excuse is all you really need. Daniel could say "I'm sorry, but I work 50+ hours a week, attend school full-time, and volunteer at church. Oh, plus I'm a new dad and have to play with my daughter and give my needy wife constant attention. I'm also a clean freak so I've taken on responsibilities around the house that most people would find ludicrous. You can see that I'm just too busy." That would never happen though; Daniel is way too nice to try to one-up someone else. Let's all learn from his example.
To all the BPWs:
I'm proud of you for being so busy, now lets all commit to not using our overscheduled days as an excuse to lord over someone else--of course, none of you are reading this, you simply don't have time for me. I really appreciate those of you who did read my rant though. I was able to write it because I don't have anything else to do. I'm kidding, I have plenty to do, I just don't feel like it.

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