Daddy or Mommy's Girl--it's a toss up

Today, Sam went to the doctor.
She is in the 98% for her height and 56% for weight.
Way tall and kinda skinny.
Talk about stats that have never, ever, ever, in my entire life applied to me. I was there when she was born, but I can't help but wonder sometimes where she came from. Not to mention, she's still pretty bald, completely opposite her monkey-looking mommy's baby pictures.

Just when I was trying to figure out if Daniel's genes are really that much more powerful than mine in every respect, she held up a W flashcard to the doctor and said "Wha! Wha!"
He looked at her and said "What did you say?"
I said, "She telling you what a W says."
Doctor turns back to Sam and says: "How would you possibly know that?"
I said, "Sam knows all the letter sounds--if you count that 'Q says Quack.' It obviously doesn't actually, but that's what she thinks so we go with it for now."
Apparently that's good for 18 months. Sam responded by holding up an H card with a Hat and saying "Hah, Hah, Hat!"

Then it hit me--Sam is a know-it-all!!! She may be a little beanpole, but she's all mine after all! If she ever yells at a guy for buying booze at the grocery store, and reminds him not to drink and drive, the circle of life will be complete (and yet another generation will mortify my mother).

So, you're saying this is a big deal?

I saw a commercial the other day that I just didn't get. It was for those new Purex sheets that go from the washer and dryer with the soap and stuff already in them. Sure, it's kind of a cool idea, I'll listen. The lady in the commercial went on to say something like this:

"I mean, I'd take a small improvement to my day, but this makes my life a thousand times better!"

My first thoughts went something like this: "Um. Okay. Really? A thousand times better? Do me a favor and let's NEVER trade lives, okay?"

Soon, however, I saw the light. This can not possibly be a insane marketing ploy, this must be true! They wouldn't say it if it wasn't true! Firstly, laundry is in fact--despite the near magic washing machine and electric dryer--the worst thing that has happened to me or anyone else in the world--move over AIDS in Africa. I can not tell you how many times I have cried myself to sleep over the burden of being able to afford decent clothes that I am nearly crippled by the responsibility to keep clean. The weight on my soul is crushing. Also, while I'm pointing this out--if I were to change just one thing about how I do laundry it wouldn't be the pre-treating, the sorting, the folding or hanging up of clean clothes, or the touching of other people's dirty skivies. Oh, no! It would be to eliminate the 10 seconds it takes me to fill the little cup and downy ball with soap and fabric softener, and the .5 seconds it takes me to reach up to the shelf to grab a dryer sheet and toss it in the dryer with the clothes. Ten point five seconds saved equals a one thousand times better life.
Who wouldn't take that deal?
Besides, the fact that it will take an extra hour of overtime to pay for the difference in price between the liquid and the 10.5 second saving miracle sheets, is my husband's problem, not mine.

Thank you so much, marketing world. You have once again offered some much needed perspective and shed light on a true tragedy--ten second increments of precious time going utterly wasted.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch some more commercials. I hope that one with Kelly Ripa tossing cookies to kids while closing the dryer with her toes comes on so I can get even more cranky!

Not it.

I'm not usually a fan of making up increasingly lame excuses to justify behavior. If you believe something is right, just do it, and don't make up a million dumb reasons to make yourself feel better. If you have to make up a million justifications to feel better, maybe you aren't making the right decision after all.

Today, however, I thought of a perk to going back to work putting my kid in daycare that suddenly doesn't seem like a lame justification at all.

It would be really nice to be able to assume someone else taught my kid to yell "Me Nakie!!!!" and run around the house like a lunatic, and leave it at that. Because as of right now, I honestly don't know where she got it...and she pretty much only hangs out with me...and I have no memory of yelling about nakedness. Plus, she was fully dressed at the time, so I really have no idea what new concept got completely twisted around in that little mind of hers. She's definitely coming up with weirder and weirder words and things these days, and when Daniel looks at me like "where did she come up with that?", so far my only response is to defensively shout "Not it!"

There has to be a better, more adult way, to shift the blame for my bizzare toddler.