Thursday, November 13, 2008

Love is a Battlefield

So, we've decided to let Sam cry it out in the middle of the night, in the hopes that I might get a full night's sleep ever again in this lifetime. How can she go down for naps and bed no problem but come completely unglued in the middle of the night?! I just don't get it. I also didn't realize that "crying it out" referred to me. This kid is so stubborn, poor Daddy has been relegated to the guest room for the duration of the war. The parent who doesn't get up between 4:30 and 5am (read: Me) gets to listen to the screaming and go lay her back down every 10-15 minutes. Sam puts in between 45 minutes and an hour and a half of screaming each time she wakes up. So, I don't have my husband with me to share the frustration, I get to listen to heartwrenching sobs for hours on end in the middle of the night, and because she isn't getting good rest at night, I get a crabby little princess for a child the entire day following.
Why did I start doing this? Oh yeah, so I won't still be getting up in the night when she's 12. Remind me of that when I'm committed to the loony bin, which doesn't sound so bad if they let you sleep for 8 hours solid.
Even so, I'm pretty sure I'm losing the battle. She's going to get me to cave any time now, and she totally knows it. I'm afraid I'm going to start crying right along with her. Last night, Sam learned how to pull herself to standing in her crib, and that's even worse, because she stands there screaming, and can't figure out how to lay back down without me going in there and laying her down, which reminds her that she wants me to pick her up, which renews her screaming gusto....
Vicious, vicious, cycle.
In addition, I've learned that "I'm doing this because I love you" sounds even lamer spoken by me now than it did coming at me as a kid. It may be true, but still sounds dumb, especially over Sam's whimpers.
I've got to stay strong! I just have to!
They say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so I guess I'll get a good night's sleep eventually either way, right?


jaime said...

ohhhhhhhh carly.

parker still STILL wakes up at 3:30 almost every single night. and when i say wakes up i mean screams bloody murder for at least 20 mins. did i mention he's almost 14 months old? yikes.

and for all of you out there who are judging me. no. i don't get him out of bed, feed him, or cuddle with him...and he still wakes up. on cue. every. single. night.

and so i say to you...good luck carly.

Crow Family said...

Your much stronger than me. I sure hope Keely continues to sleep through the night. (fingers crossed)

The Funmaker said...

Just remember Carly, you have to "ignore" Sam completely. You can lay awake in your room fretting all you want, but stay out of Sam's room. Just remember "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".

Alison said...

When Skyler was about that age, his pediatrician said that babies wake up in the night because that's what they are used to doing. When they are really little they need to wake up so they can eat, but as they grow older they don't need that middle of the night nourishment, but the waking up has become more or less a habit.

And you don't need to keep checking on her. I would usually do an initial check, you know make sure the child has all of his limbs and isn't burning up with fever and then leave him be.

The standing up by herself does bring an interesting twist to things, but I'd suggest to put her back down once and then let her figure it out, or maybe she'll fall asleep standing, which will make for a fun picture at least.

And while listening to the crying, just remember what my current pediatrician told me - if you can hear the baby crying, at least you know she's alive!

Natalie said...

Although I have no idea who the funmaker and Alison are, they make very wise and valid points.

Oh my heart goes out to you. I remember those days all to well. Hang in there. Most things worth doing, are always difficult.

And Jaime, I don't know you either, but you hang in there as well. And if people judge you, that's their problem. Mothering is the toughest job around, don't let others opinions make it harder on you.

Stay strong ladies, you can and will prevail! :)