Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Bathroom Business

If you're wondering where I've been, I really have no excuse for the lack of posts. I've just been super busy with life. And in fact, right at this moment, I should be finishing (okay, starting and finishing) sewing my Marge Simpson dress before our first Halloween party on Saturday, but instead I'm on here making a little post. This is mainly because I'm super lazy and have zero idea how to make the difference between my boobs, waist, and hips look somewhat defined while still only using a straight stitch and a single 3 ft strip of velcro. I'm going to channel my inner Project Runway contestant and "make it work," but first I'll give it even more of a think. Did I mention I'm lazy?

If I get them finished in time, however, our Simpsons costumes will be hilariously awesome. Possibly with the exception of Peyton, who is adamantly refusing to let us color his hair or skin yellow. Without that, he's pretty much a kid in an orange shirt and blue shorts. Every time I bring up how fun it will be to be yellow (and Sam already did it to show him what it's like), he just looks at me and says "Yeah...I not doing that." If it becomes a battle of wills, then trust me, no one will win, no matter the outcome. So orange t-shirt and blue shorts it is. No one will know who he is without the other four of us in tow.

But this post isn't about Halloween.

Actually, this post is going to be short because any longer and it will devolve into a litany of angry not-nice words I'm not allowed to actually say in front of my children. That is because we are attempting to potty train Peyton. Let's just say, a boy is a whole different ball game, and despite being 8 months older than Sam was, this experience is pretty much as much fun as banging my head against a brick wall. I suggest everyone reading this buy stock in whatever company makes Resolve carpet cleaner because we are going through it like water. It's only been four days, and I think there is more pee than carpet fibers on my floor. Sigh. Every time I start thinking "Maybe he's not ready after all..." and decide to give up, we end up having just enough success to give me hope. False hope, perhaps.

So today, I bought him some stickers to put on a potty chart. We had been using M&Ms but once he discovered that all it took was a few drops of pee in the toilet to get chocolate he began using that to his advantage a little too often (while saving the majority of the pee for his room). We went to the store and he picked out Angry Birds stickers (he is very much into Angry Birds right now). He was so enamored with his new stickers he kept staring at them as we shopped. In fact, he kept staring at them until he walked face first into a garbage can. Then a wine rack. Then I made him put them down until we got home.

Here's hoping that the hypnotic stickers are the motivation he needs to stop peeing his pants.

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