Ever since we put up the Christmas tree, Sam has greeted it after a long absence (ie: bedtime, or a nap, or even an extended shopping trip) with an exuberant "Mom! Look! The Christmas tree is still here!"
I really didn't know why she always seemed so surprised by that, but she did it several times.
Finally, the other night Daniel was gone and Sam was just sitting at the kitchen table talking to me while she made a mess out of her dinner. After thinking for a few minutes, she sighed and said "Mom? So, when does the Grinch come to take our stuff?"
We had watched the Grinch over Thanksgiving week. All of a sudden, I understood why she was so relieved and happy that the tree was still standing each time she came back. I quickly assured her that the Grinch was just pretend, and even in the story the Grinch became nice and gave the stuff back.
She hasn't been surprised to see the tree still standing since.
I just realized, it must be really hard and stressful to be two. I guess adults don't have a monopoly on holiday worries, imagine just sitting at home waiting for a green bad guy to come into your home uninvited and take your tree as if it were completely inevitable. Poor kid.
Now if I could just make the idea of Santa Claus sound less creepy for her...
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Little Good Things
Lately it has seemed like all I ever hear about is bad stuff in the world. In everything from how people interact, to general courtesy, to politics, to how people relate to their children, it seems like there isn't a lot of good left in the world at large. To paraphrase one of my favorite Gilmore Girls quotes, when Rory asks Paris if she's met their neighbors at their new apartment, Paris replies, "Yes, and all I can say is build an ark, because we are overdue for a flood."
For the past several weeks and months, I've felt kind of inundated with the worst in humanity--not just with the bad behavior of others, but also the constant need to wallow in and spotlight and pinpoint said bad behavior on the "news", in blogs, pretty much all of Hollywood, etc. I really don't think it helps that there was recently an election, which tends to bring out the worst in both sides of the fence. Something about pregnancy also always seems to hone my negativity radar as well, making me even more observant of the crappier parts of the world around me--possibly because I'm so moody myself. In short, lately, if I'm being honest, I've thought more than once that we might be overdue for a flood.
All these factors coming together has made it the perfect time for me to undertake a project where I've actually made a conscious effort to notice the little acts of kindness happening around me. For nearly the past month I've paid special attention to the little things people do to make the world better for those around them. Of course, it was harder to find these acts than deplorable ones, as you usually do not see someone volunteering to babysit plastering the front page of the checkout line tabloids, but once I started looking at the actual people around me, instead of what the world so desperately tries to make me to notice, I was impressed by what I saw.
I saw people step forward and offer to help in the middle of a family emergency. I saw someone volunteer take an unruly toddler off the mother's hands without being asked because she was clearly in no position to calm her down herself. I saw people who are struggling themselves in this economy give generous donations to a shelter--especially touching at a time when so many requests seem to come in at once and resources are so strapped. I was even a recipient of some of these acts myself, I had people unexpectedly volunteer to babysit when I needed it most. I even found out that yes, there are still people on this planet who will see someone in a line with one item and invite them to go ahead of their full cart at the store.
It may not happen as much as my grandparents claim it did in the good old days, but...
People still hold open doors for the people behind them,
People will still smile back at you and wave if you say hello,
People will pick something up off the ground for you that you've dropped (particularly if you're pregnant and holding a two-year-old FYI),
People still say "thank you very much" and "Have a nice day", and
Drivers will usually stop to let you pass into the parking lot, although I admit I would never fault someone for not wanting to wait for a duckling parade of preschool children to meander across the street--I was surprised to see that one myself.
In short, there is a lot wrong with our world today. Seeing acts of kindness and quiet service does not change the abuse, neglect, dishonesty, greed, and immorality I see and know about in the world around me. However, there are still a lot of really good people out there who are just trying to do the best they can. I wasn't sure I believed it much a month ago, but there are still people who aren't always looking out for #1. Additionally, I realized that much of the good in the world does take place outside my sheltered, "safe" circle of friends and at church. This world may not be perfect, but after spending a month with my eyes open, I no longer think we are due for a flood. And since I'm still pregnant, and there's still political rancor in the world, that's really saying something.
For the past several weeks and months, I've felt kind of inundated with the worst in humanity--not just with the bad behavior of others, but also the constant need to wallow in and spotlight and pinpoint said bad behavior on the "news", in blogs, pretty much all of Hollywood, etc. I really don't think it helps that there was recently an election, which tends to bring out the worst in both sides of the fence. Something about pregnancy also always seems to hone my negativity radar as well, making me even more observant of the crappier parts of the world around me--possibly because I'm so moody myself. In short, lately, if I'm being honest, I've thought more than once that we might be overdue for a flood.
All these factors coming together has made it the perfect time for me to undertake a project where I've actually made a conscious effort to notice the little acts of kindness happening around me. For nearly the past month I've paid special attention to the little things people do to make the world better for those around them. Of course, it was harder to find these acts than deplorable ones, as you usually do not see someone volunteering to babysit plastering the front page of the checkout line tabloids, but once I started looking at the actual people around me, instead of what the world so desperately tries to make me to notice, I was impressed by what I saw.
I saw people step forward and offer to help in the middle of a family emergency. I saw someone volunteer take an unruly toddler off the mother's hands without being asked because she was clearly in no position to calm her down herself. I saw people who are struggling themselves in this economy give generous donations to a shelter--especially touching at a time when so many requests seem to come in at once and resources are so strapped. I was even a recipient of some of these acts myself, I had people unexpectedly volunteer to babysit when I needed it most. I even found out that yes, there are still people on this planet who will see someone in a line with one item and invite them to go ahead of their full cart at the store.
It may not happen as much as my grandparents claim it did in the good old days, but...
People still hold open doors for the people behind them,
People will still smile back at you and wave if you say hello,
People will pick something up off the ground for you that you've dropped (particularly if you're pregnant and holding a two-year-old FYI),
People still say "thank you very much" and "Have a nice day", and
Drivers will usually stop to let you pass into the parking lot, although I admit I would never fault someone for not wanting to wait for a duckling parade of preschool children to meander across the street--I was surprised to see that one myself.
In short, there is a lot wrong with our world today. Seeing acts of kindness and quiet service does not change the abuse, neglect, dishonesty, greed, and immorality I see and know about in the world around me. However, there are still a lot of really good people out there who are just trying to do the best they can. I wasn't sure I believed it much a month ago, but there are still people who aren't always looking out for #1. Additionally, I realized that much of the good in the world does take place outside my sheltered, "safe" circle of friends and at church. This world may not be perfect, but after spending a month with my eyes open, I no longer think we are due for a flood. And since I'm still pregnant, and there's still political rancor in the world, that's really saying something.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Just a few minutes a day!
I'm not exactly sure when the transition happened, but recently I feel like my life has taken a serious turn from a nice pace, with just enough downtime to make me happy without making me lazy, to frantic and hectic. Honestly, I know several people who survive on hectic, but I've always been the kind of person who prefers a lot of downtime to spend with my kid, family, whatever. My husband, on the other hand, does not like any sort of downtime at all. In fact, while I try to spend some time on Saturday relaxing my aching back, feet, or abdomen, I can only usually get him to watch half of a half-hour tivoed show before he's back up and looking for something to clean or organize. The man can not sit still. It's a blessing and a curse.
Anyway, I think I've nailed down the problem to overcrowding my life. It's all the claims that friends, experts, magazines, etc., say I should be doing every day. Why do they say I should be doing these things? Because, every single one of them is billed as something vitally important that only takes "minutes a day!" So, I'm doing some math (and yes, my brain does hurt) to add up how much time I "should" be doing little things...now I obviously, don't do all these things, but I thought I'd just take a gander at why we're so dang busy. This is just stuff I thought of off the top of my head that I've recently been told I "should" be doing because it only takes a few minutes--this is by no means an exhaustive list, nor does it include most actually important life activities, like--if you have a job, or have to spend time with the basics--parenting, routine cleaning, cooking, eating, or using the bathroom. I figured in hygiene rules that have given a specific time frame in order to do it "right," but I'm not including time for basic necessities we do anyway, like showering. Also, I'm figuring this into the template that we also "should" be sleeping 8 hours a day.
Exercise--30-60 minutes a day of moderate exercise plus
15-20 minutes a day of stretching or strength training
Practicing an instrument (or skill or talent)--30-60 minutes a day
Talking to and bonding with my fetus--15-20 minutes (no I'm not making this up, and no, you're also not supposed to multi-task while doing it)
Reading my scriptures--15-30 minutes a day
Reading to my toddler--30 minutes a day
Practicing good oral hygiene (brushing properly, flossing everyday)--10 minutes a day
Lotioning and pampering my feet to prevent calloused skin--10 minutes a day
Mapping out calories and planning nutritionally correct meals--30 minutes a day
Organizing or cleaning one clutter "trouble-spot" in my house until my whole house looks like Jaime Lee Curtis's--20-30 minutes a day
Wiping down and dusting the bathrooms in my house to stall the need for deeper cleaning (5 minutes per bathroom)--20 minutes a day total
Using my sock to wipe down the baseboards in two rooms a day--10 minutes a day
Writing in a "gratitude journal" to promote personal happiness--10 minutes a day
Writing in an actual journal or blog to document my life--10 minutes a day
Hmmm, that makes 4 hrs (on the low side!) to 5 1/2 hours of stuff that I someone out there thinks I should be easily fitting in and doing every day, utterly separate from my job as a mom and wife, church responsibilities, grocery shopping, and interacting with others. No wonder we're all so tired! Yes, some of these are actually important, and I will continue to find the time to do them each day because they actually help me be a better person. That said, however, I think the next time my Good Housekeeping magazine tells me that I too can have spotless tile floors without the hard scrubbing if I only take 10 minutes a day to do the following, I will have to laugh. Yeah, 10 minutes a day sounds like nothing, but when you've been reduced to only 11.5 hours a day in which to do most of your living (or a measly 2.5 hours if you work full-time away from home--without a commute!), I think we can all agree that it's worth some hard scrubbing every so often, when it occurs to us. After all, it takes no minutes a day to ignore the floor for two weeks! That's 140 minutes I just saved you!
Ignoring other people's opinions and deciding for yourself what really truly deserves your precious "minutes a day" will save you so much more, and I for one, am taking back my spare minutes! As important as lowering my risk of breast cancer by a billion percent, or increasing my happiness by 532% (and how exactly do they measure that anyway?) sounds, I think it's more helpful to my well-being to not spend hours a day stressed out and being bossed around by a magazine or random statistic.
If you need me, I'll be on the sofa, playing tickle monster for an undisclosed number of minutes.
Anyway, I think I've nailed down the problem to overcrowding my life. It's all the claims that friends, experts, magazines, etc., say I should be doing every day. Why do they say I should be doing these things? Because, every single one of them is billed as something vitally important that only takes "minutes a day!" So, I'm doing some math (and yes, my brain does hurt) to add up how much time I "should" be doing little things...now I obviously, don't do all these things, but I thought I'd just take a gander at why we're so dang busy. This is just stuff I thought of off the top of my head that I've recently been told I "should" be doing because it only takes a few minutes--this is by no means an exhaustive list, nor does it include most actually important life activities, like--if you have a job, or have to spend time with the basics--parenting, routine cleaning, cooking, eating, or using the bathroom. I figured in hygiene rules that have given a specific time frame in order to do it "right," but I'm not including time for basic necessities we do anyway, like showering. Also, I'm figuring this into the template that we also "should" be sleeping 8 hours a day.
Exercise--30-60 minutes a day of moderate exercise plus
15-20 minutes a day of stretching or strength training
Practicing an instrument (or skill or talent)--30-60 minutes a day
Talking to and bonding with my fetus--15-20 minutes (no I'm not making this up, and no, you're also not supposed to multi-task while doing it)
Reading my scriptures--15-30 minutes a day
Reading to my toddler--30 minutes a day
Practicing good oral hygiene (brushing properly, flossing everyday)--10 minutes a day
Lotioning and pampering my feet to prevent calloused skin--10 minutes a day
Mapping out calories and planning nutritionally correct meals--30 minutes a day
Organizing or cleaning one clutter "trouble-spot" in my house until my whole house looks like Jaime Lee Curtis's--20-30 minutes a day
Wiping down and dusting the bathrooms in my house to stall the need for deeper cleaning (5 minutes per bathroom)--20 minutes a day total
Using my sock to wipe down the baseboards in two rooms a day--10 minutes a day
Writing in a "gratitude journal" to promote personal happiness--10 minutes a day
Writing in an actual journal or blog to document my life--10 minutes a day
Hmmm, that makes 4 hrs (on the low side!) to 5 1/2 hours of stuff that I someone out there thinks I should be easily fitting in and doing every day, utterly separate from my job as a mom and wife, church responsibilities, grocery shopping, and interacting with others. No wonder we're all so tired! Yes, some of these are actually important, and I will continue to find the time to do them each day because they actually help me be a better person. That said, however, I think the next time my Good Housekeeping magazine tells me that I too can have spotless tile floors without the hard scrubbing if I only take 10 minutes a day to do the following, I will have to laugh. Yeah, 10 minutes a day sounds like nothing, but when you've been reduced to only 11.5 hours a day in which to do most of your living (or a measly 2.5 hours if you work full-time away from home--without a commute!), I think we can all agree that it's worth some hard scrubbing every so often, when it occurs to us. After all, it takes no minutes a day to ignore the floor for two weeks! That's 140 minutes I just saved you!
Ignoring other people's opinions and deciding for yourself what really truly deserves your precious "minutes a day" will save you so much more, and I for one, am taking back my spare minutes! As important as lowering my risk of breast cancer by a billion percent, or increasing my happiness by 532% (and how exactly do they measure that anyway?) sounds, I think it's more helpful to my well-being to not spend hours a day stressed out and being bossed around by a magazine or random statistic.
If you need me, I'll be on the sofa, playing tickle monster for an undisclosed number of minutes.
Friday, October 1, 2010
They Say Time Flies
One of my friends was wonderful and agreed to take Sam yesterday afternoon so I could do some Sam-not-allowed errands. She and Sam went to her daughter's dance class and while they were waiting for her to finish up, they were in a room with a huge climbing wall. Apparently, Sam was absolutely obsessed with the climbing wall, and kept asking if she could "PLEASE!" climb the wall. Finally, my friend explained that the rules are that you have to be at least 5 to use the climbing wall. At this point, Sam looked at her and said, "I'm six."
Now, I know they say time flies and you blink and your kids grow up, but I'm pretty sure I didn't miss four whole years.
I'm also totally torn, because I'm way impressed that Sam automatically knew that six was more than five without counting, and that for some reason, she seemed to realize that it would look shady if she claimed to be the exact age needed for the climbing wall and therefore went up a year. I'm not, however, proud of her seemingly casual relationship to honesty at this point. If she were only two, I'd probably excuse it, but for a six-year-old to lie, is simply unacceptable. :)
Now, I know they say time flies and you blink and your kids grow up, but I'm pretty sure I didn't miss four whole years.
I'm also totally torn, because I'm way impressed that Sam automatically knew that six was more than five without counting, and that for some reason, she seemed to realize that it would look shady if she claimed to be the exact age needed for the climbing wall and therefore went up a year. I'm not, however, proud of her seemingly casual relationship to honesty at this point. If she were only two, I'd probably excuse it, but for a six-year-old to lie, is simply unacceptable. :)
Monday, September 27, 2010
A Little Ironic
Because Google reads everyone's email and tries to target ads specifically for you (which I find irritating and creepy by the way), my gmail is now touting banner ads to vote no on a prop that would do away with secret ballots for elections. Up at the top it says "Keep your secret ballot private!"
So, let me get this straight--you paid Google to read my email and target ad me based on my location because you believe so strongly in privacy? I guess they only really claim to support privacy in the voting process, because privacy in personal correspondence is SOOOO passe. I might as well be wishing for the return of the 8-track.
If I didn't hate the whole "big brother" aspect of gmail in general, I'd be laughing harder.
So, let me get this straight--you paid Google to read my email and target ad me based on my location because you believe so strongly in privacy? I guess they only really claim to support privacy in the voting process, because privacy in personal correspondence is SOOOO passe. I might as well be wishing for the return of the 8-track.
If I didn't hate the whole "big brother" aspect of gmail in general, I'd be laughing harder.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Well, okay, then. Carry on.
On Tuesday, Sam and I were reading books on the couch. I was feeling cuddly, so I said "Sam, would you like to come sit on my lap while we read?"
Sam looked at me, thought for a moment, and said, "No danks, Mommy. I just sit on my own butt."
Hmmm, I had nothing to say to that at all. On the one hand, I was thrilled that she said "no thanks"--how polite! On the other hand, I didn't even know she knew the word butt. On the third hand, she did use it properly and wasn't trying to insult anyone and be rude and it's not like it's a word we don't use. Finally, I got myself to stop laughing and said "Well, okay then, let's read."
Sometimes I wonder if Sam is really 2 1/2, or if she's like a really small six year old. Despite being around for every day of her life, I still wonder.
Sam looked at me, thought for a moment, and said, "No danks, Mommy. I just sit on my own butt."
Hmmm, I had nothing to say to that at all. On the one hand, I was thrilled that she said "no thanks"--how polite! On the other hand, I didn't even know she knew the word butt. On the third hand, she did use it properly and wasn't trying to insult anyone and be rude and it's not like it's a word we don't use. Finally, I got myself to stop laughing and said "Well, okay then, let's read."
Sometimes I wonder if Sam is really 2 1/2, or if she's like a really small six year old. Despite being around for every day of her life, I still wonder.
Monday, September 20, 2010
There are worse parents...
So, the last little while, Sam has officially "discovered" Dora the Explorer. She's seen it before, but lately she's been asking to watch it, and singing the songs, and all around enjoying Dora. I knew this day would come, because Dora has more marketing dollars spent on her than Charlie Sheen does for damage control, and it was only a matter of time before the flood leaked into our house.
However, while I certainly have no desire to be one of those obnoxious helicopter parents who sleeps in their kids' dorms for the first three weeks of college because they just can't bear to leave them behind, I've been forced to come to the conclusion that Dora's parents are pretty darn negligent. I mean, really. They exist, because they show them on occasion, so this isn't one of those shows where they just don't mention her parents and we're supposed to assume Dora's world is in her imagination or something. She has a house, and both her parents live in it--presumably "raising" her twin baby siblings, although they seem to spend more time with Dora supervised by only a preschool-age monkey in red boots than they do at home. Lately, I've been imagining an episode taking place with Dora's parents while Dora is exploring. Here's a rough draft of the script.
A visitor comes to the "Explorer" house (for lack of a better last name).
Dora's Mom: "Hi there, come on in! We're watching TV."
Visitor: "Hi! So, uh, where are your kids?"
Dora's Mom: "Oh, I don't know. Dora put the twins in a wagon and said something about taking a baby crocodile over to his mother in the rainforest. I zoned out when I heard the word 'volcano.' That kid is always talking about something, you know. Do you want something to eat?"
Visitor: "No thanks. So, wow, your four-year-old just took the babies across the volcano? Isn't that really dangerous? Are they going to be ok?"
Dora's Dad: "Eh, don't worry. They do stuff like this all the time. Dora's got a little purple backpack filled with all sorts of random crap to keep her safe. You know, space suits and stuff. It probably weighs more than she does, but I didn't see a sign of a hump on her spine when she came home for an hour last Tuesday. She'll be fine."
Visitor: "Ok. I guess. So what about the babies? Will they be okay with a four-year-old babysitter going over a volcano!?"
Dora's Mom: "Geez, chill out. It's not just a four-year-old. Her little monkey friend is with her, and he's pretty responsible as monkeys go. Besides, the twins can fly, so it's not like they have no way to get over the volcano. Sheesh, what kind of mother do you take me for?"
Visitor: "Your babies can fly?"
Dora's Dad: "Yeah, they've got superpowers. We would keep them home more often, but what are you going to do? Infants gotta fly..."
Visitor: "Can Dora fly?"
Dora's Mom: "Oh, heavens, no. But she's always got random animal friends coming by driving various modes of transportation--planes, trains, cars. I've introduced her to everyone in the area, so it's not like she's in the car with strangers. And she always wears a seat belt. I guess I'm just kind of strict like that, but you've got to keep your kids safe."
At this point, Dora's Dad gets bored by the conversation, belches, and turns his full attention back to the TV.
Visitor: "Well, yeah. But isn't that evil fox always waiting to steal things from kids? What's his name, Swiper?"
Dora's Mom: "Hey, well, if you want to raise your kids that you'll always come to the rescue so they can never deal with bullies on their own, that's your prerogative. I prefer to let her learn how to take care of business. If she can't stand up for herself and keep her hands on her stuff, she's the one who can dig through the wilderness looking for it. Maybe it will teach her to be a little quicker on her 'Swiper, no swipings!' I don't know about you, but I don't want a whiny little preschooler, who can't even deal with a simple evil fox."
Visitor: "Alright, then. Well, it's been nice to see you, and if you'll excuse me, I have to make a call. (whispers)...to CPS."
Dora's Mom: "See ya later. Hey on your way out, will you grab me a beer? Or in Spanish...cerveza!"
I really doubt Nick will ever air my show, but for cross-promotion, I'm sure Diego's parents could swing by for a movie marathon or something on occasion. It's not like they're all that involved either...
However, while I certainly have no desire to be one of those obnoxious helicopter parents who sleeps in their kids' dorms for the first three weeks of college because they just can't bear to leave them behind, I've been forced to come to the conclusion that Dora's parents are pretty darn negligent. I mean, really. They exist, because they show them on occasion, so this isn't one of those shows where they just don't mention her parents and we're supposed to assume Dora's world is in her imagination or something. She has a house, and both her parents live in it--presumably "raising" her twin baby siblings, although they seem to spend more time with Dora supervised by only a preschool-age monkey in red boots than they do at home. Lately, I've been imagining an episode taking place with Dora's parents while Dora is exploring. Here's a rough draft of the script.
A visitor comes to the "Explorer" house (for lack of a better last name).
Dora's Mom: "Hi there, come on in! We're watching TV."
Visitor: "Hi! So, uh, where are your kids?"
Dora's Mom: "Oh, I don't know. Dora put the twins in a wagon and said something about taking a baby crocodile over to his mother in the rainforest. I zoned out when I heard the word 'volcano.' That kid is always talking about something, you know. Do you want something to eat?"
Visitor: "No thanks. So, wow, your four-year-old just took the babies across the volcano? Isn't that really dangerous? Are they going to be ok?"
Dora's Dad: "Eh, don't worry. They do stuff like this all the time. Dora's got a little purple backpack filled with all sorts of random crap to keep her safe. You know, space suits and stuff. It probably weighs more than she does, but I didn't see a sign of a hump on her spine when she came home for an hour last Tuesday. She'll be fine."
Visitor: "Ok. I guess. So what about the babies? Will they be okay with a four-year-old babysitter going over a volcano!?"
Dora's Mom: "Geez, chill out. It's not just a four-year-old. Her little monkey friend is with her, and he's pretty responsible as monkeys go. Besides, the twins can fly, so it's not like they have no way to get over the volcano. Sheesh, what kind of mother do you take me for?"
Visitor: "Your babies can fly?"
Dora's Dad: "Yeah, they've got superpowers. We would keep them home more often, but what are you going to do? Infants gotta fly..."
Visitor: "Can Dora fly?"
Dora's Mom: "Oh, heavens, no. But she's always got random animal friends coming by driving various modes of transportation--planes, trains, cars. I've introduced her to everyone in the area, so it's not like she's in the car with strangers. And she always wears a seat belt. I guess I'm just kind of strict like that, but you've got to keep your kids safe."
At this point, Dora's Dad gets bored by the conversation, belches, and turns his full attention back to the TV.
Visitor: "Well, yeah. But isn't that evil fox always waiting to steal things from kids? What's his name, Swiper?"
Dora's Mom: "Hey, well, if you want to raise your kids that you'll always come to the rescue so they can never deal with bullies on their own, that's your prerogative. I prefer to let her learn how to take care of business. If she can't stand up for herself and keep her hands on her stuff, she's the one who can dig through the wilderness looking for it. Maybe it will teach her to be a little quicker on her 'Swiper, no swipings!' I don't know about you, but I don't want a whiny little preschooler, who can't even deal with a simple evil fox."
Visitor: "Alright, then. Well, it's been nice to see you, and if you'll excuse me, I have to make a call. (whispers)...to CPS."
Dora's Mom: "See ya later. Hey on your way out, will you grab me a beer? Or in Spanish...cerveza!"
I really doubt Nick will ever air my show, but for cross-promotion, I'm sure Diego's parents could swing by for a movie marathon or something on occasion. It's not like they're all that involved either...
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